Safety tips

Meeting new people is exciting, but you should always be cautious when interacting with someone you don't know. Use your best judgment and put your safety first, whether you're sending your first message or meeting in person. While you can't control the actions of others, there are things you can do to help stay safe during your Hotchat experience.

Online safety

• Never send money or share financial information

  Never send money, whether it's through wire transfer, banking service, or an app on your phone, even if the person claims to be in an emergency. It can be nearly impossible to reverse these transactions or trace where the money went. Don't wire reimbursements or open accounts with someone you matched with or through services or websites they recommend. Never share information that could be used to access your financial accounts. If another user asks you for money, report it to us immediately. For more advice on avoiding romance scams, check out some advice from the U.S. Federal Trade Commission.

• Protect your personal information

  Never share personal information, such as your social security number, home or work address, or details about your daily routine (for example, that you go to a certain gym every Monday) with people you don't know. If you're a parent, limit the information that you share about your children on your profile and in early communications. Avoid sharing details such as images of your children, their names, or where they go to school, or their ages or grades.

• Stay on the platform

  Keep conversations on the Hotchat platform while you're getting to know someone. Because exchanges on Hotchat are subject to our Trust & Safety detections, users with bad intentions often try to move the conversation to text, messaging apps, email, or phone right away.

• Be wary of long distance and overseas relationships

  Watch out for scammers who claim to be from your country but are currently stuck somewhere else, especially if they ask for financial help to return home. Don't let a match talk you into investing or opening an account with a service or website they share. Be wary of anyone who will not meet in person or talk on a phone/video call — they may not be who they say they are. If someone is avoiding your questions or pushing for a serious relationship without meeting or getting to know you first, that's a red flag.

• Report all suspicious and offensive behavior

  You know when someone's crossed the line. And when they do, we want to know about it. Block and report anyone that violates our terms or your personal boundaries. Here are some examples of violations:

Meeting in-person

• Don't be in a rush

  Take your time and get to know the other person before agreeing to meet or chat off Hotchat. Don't be afraid to ask questions to screen for any red flags or personal dealbreakers. A phone or video call can be a useful screening tool before meeting.

• Meet in public and stay in public

  Meet in a populated, public place — never at your home, your date's home, or any other private location. If your date pressures you to go to a private location, end the date.

• Tell friends and family about your plans

  Tell a friend or family member of your plans, including when and where you're going. Have your cell phone charged and with you at all times. Consider using your phone's built-in features to share your location with someone you trust while you're out on a date.

• Be in control of your transportation

  We want you to be in control of how you get to and from your date so that you can leave whenever you want. If you're driving yourself, it's a good idea to have a backup plan such as a ride-share app or a friend to pick you up.

• Know your limits

  Be aware of the effects of drugs or alcohol on you specifically — they can impair your judgment and your alertness. If your date tries to pressure you to use drugs or drink more than you're comfortable with, hold your ground and end the date.

• Don't leave drinks or personal items unattended

  Know where your drink comes from and know where it is at all times — only accept drinks poured or served directly from the bartender or server. Many substances that are slipped into drinks to facilitate sexual assault are odorless, and tasteless. Also, keep your phone, purse, wallet, and anything containing personal information on you at all times.

• If you feel uncomfortable, leave

  It's okay to end the date early if you're feeling uncomfortable. In fact, it's encouraged. And if your instincts are telling you something is off or you feel unsafe, ask the bartender or server for help.

LGBTQ+ travel

• Stay aware while traveling

  Be careful while traveling. We believe in the inclusivity of all gender identities and sexual orientations, but the unfortunate reality is this: nowhere in the world is without potential risk. Some countries have specific laws that target LGBTQ+ people. Review local laws and travel advice before you go, and use caution when sharing your location, profile details, or identity.

Sexual health & consent

• Protect yourself

  When used correctly and consistently, condoms can significantly reduce the risk of contracting and passing on STIs like HIV. But be aware that some STIs like herpes or HPV can be passed on through skin-to-skin contact. The risk of contracting some STIs can be reduced through vaccination.

• Know your status

  Not all STIs show symptoms, and you don't want to be in the dark about your status. Stay on top of your health and prevent the spread of STIs by getting tested regularly. Here's where you can find a clinic near you (US only).

• Talk about it

  Communication is everything! Before you get physically intimate with a partner, talk about sexual health and STI testing. And be aware — in some places it is actually a crime to knowingly pass on an STI. Need help starting the conversation? Here are some tips.

• Consent

  All sexual activity must start with consent and should include ongoing check-ins with your partner. Verbal communication can help you and your partner ensure that you respect each other’s boundaries. Consent can be withdrawn at any time, and sex is never owed to anyone. Do not proceed if your partner seems uncomfortable or unsure, or if your partner is unable to consent due to the effects of drugs or alcohol. Read more about what consent looks like.